We Start NOW then go BACK into the PAST ...
Oh my ... where to start. How about at the beginning. This BLOG is something my therapist suggested I do in order to organize and pull forward parts of my life that have given me ... problems/happiness/passion/joy/love/inspiration and other assorted things. Into this frame comes most recent history, though something that began LONG AGO.
First a little history: I am 43, female, married, children, dogs ... the whole kittencaboodle. We are also a very 'poly' minded couple.
I am also bisexual and in love with my best friend. I have been since we were in our teens, me specifically, 15 years old. In July of this year (2008), my friend's life partner (did I mention that she's lesbian? *lol*) decided that D should find someone else, that she loved her but wasn't 'in love' with her ... same shit she's done for YEARS. D came right out and told me that she was in love with me and wanted to take our friendship further. Now, that wouldn't have been a problem accept for ONE SMALL THING ... my husband. He has no problem with my bisexual feelings and didn't see an issue until it was with someone that has known me for 35 years. Suddenly he's feeling threatened. She did indeed come out and tell him that she was in love with me. He has asked for only one promise and I have no problem giving him this. We may tell each other we love each other, we may text, email, chat and call ... she may NOT touch me with the intent of having a 'physical' relationship until such time that he is comfortable with that issue ...
I have visited her once and she's been to visit me once since then. During this time between June 2008 and now (October 2008), much of my past feelings and such have given way to nightmares and dreams that have become disturbing. So ... now we begin again this BLOG from about the time I was 15 years old. It will be a timeline to help me and perhaps another person out there that finds themselves in a similar situation.
So ... sit back, relax and take a read. Pipe in if you feel the desire to say something or offer some kind of advise (good or bad).
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The principles (Initials used in most cases)
D - I love her
J - Me
R - Second Husband
L - D's Mom
M - D's Dad
Rt - D's Life partner/love interest
MH - I love him, my current husband